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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The Two Kinds of Problems

Most of my clients have one or both of two kinds of problems: they are either troubled with negative thoughts which make them feel angry, depressed, anxious, etc., or they avoid dealing with issues and problems.

Negative thinking is something I deal with a lot on my website (DrBeckham.com). However, I don't deal that much with avoidance on the web site. There are two ways that people avoid--externally and internally. Externally, people may avoid dealing with problems. As a result, the problems just keep getting bigger and bigger, causing more and more difficulties in the person's life.

The other type of avoidance is not facing their own internal thoughts and feelings. They try to stuff these internal issues into the closet so to speak. However, after a lifetime of closet stuffing, they often end up with a problem. They only way they know to deal with things is to throw them out of site in the closet. But every time they open the closet, there is so much in there, that it all starts to tumble out. In other words, a person can only repress and avoid thoughts and feelings so much before there is no way to stuff any more. The thoughts and feelings which they thought they had successfully managed to avoid are now coming out as symptoms and interpersonal problems. That is where a therapist can be helpful. Because when everything starts to tumble out, a therapist can help to sort it all out so that it is not overwhelming.

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