How Do You Use Your Power?

People have a variety of reactions to the word "power."  Some want it and crave it.  Others try to be "nice" to the point that they seem to be trying to avoid exerting any power.  Some believe that that they don't have any power.

But power comes with being human.  Perhaps not the Donald Trump kind of power.  But there is always power to be constructive or damaging towards those around us.  There is always power to have a positive or negative impact on the people.

It may be true that as we get older our power wanes, but we still have some until we can no longer speak and/or move.  We still have the power to curse or to bless by our words and actions.  (I can tell you that doing testing on geriatric wards in the hospital, I have been cussed out a few times.  I have also had times that were truly delightful working with elderly patients.  Our power to bless or to curse remains until the very end.)

As children we discover that we have power, even before we understand the meaning of the word.  We can taunt or tease others and hurt their feelings.  I remember once as a child that I called a child "Pat, the Brat."  It was a taunt based on a comic cartoon strip.  It hurt his feelings, and I just kept saying it that day because I found it had an effect on him.  Without knowing what I was doing, I was finding that I had the power to hurt someone's feelings.  I liked it.  Fortunately, hurting others was not a major temptation of mine, and I generally chose not to use my power to hurt people's feelings after that.  Young boys tend to be fascinated by the power of fireworks, and they may go through phases of trying to blow things up.  In the worst case scenarios they use the power of the fireworks to hurt animals or people.

Children need to be taught to use their power and to use it for good.  I remember a conversation I had with one of my sons when he was in elementary school. I told him to make sure that he used his influence to make others around him feel good--not to feel bad.

Now the example of me calling a kid "Pat the Brat" was a trivial example, but we all know that our forays into using our power may start small but end up in adulthood in much more important, powerful ways of hurting people.  The power to hurt people in really bad ways generally comes later on in our lives.

Then, on the other hand, there is the "myth" of the nice person.  Some people believe that power is a bad thing and that they should always be nice, never offending.  They believe that they can be a better person by NOT being powerful.  That is wrongheaded.  The point of life is not to be "nice" to the point of avoiding power.  The point is to use power for beneficial purposes, to build people up rather than putting them down.  It is not loving to be powerless.  It is loving to use your power in beneficial ways.

Even Gandhi and Jesus exerted power, but it was different.  We normally think of them as "meek and mild."  After all, didn't Jesus say to "turn the other cheek"?  Wasn't Gandhi a believer in non-violence?  However, they used non-violence as a specific type of power.

Jesus said to turn the other cheek.  But this was actually not teaching people to be passive.  It was actually teaching them a form of active expression of power but in a paradoxical way.  It would show love but with great restraint.  When Gandhi started his protest movements, he was out to hurt no one.  But he was also intending to bring down an empire.

So I believe it is important for us to accept the fact that we do have power.  Then we can spend a lifetime honing it so that it blesses rather than harms those around us.