Our frontal lobes are dying.
Well, maybe not really. But they may be suffering. The old quote "rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated" comes to mind here. But if our frontal lobes have not died they are perhaps in peril.
The prefrontal lobes of our brains contain much, if not most, of what makes us human. Our ability to plan and solve problems. Our ability to initiate a course of action and persevere. Our ability to hold back our emotions when necessary. Our ability to do the hard thing rather than the easy thing. Our ability to notice when we are missing the mark and need to change our course of action to be more effective.
But these are not the types of abilities which are now reinforced in our everyday lives. We often do not read books so much as skim across web pages. We do not make conscious decisions about what will enter our brains so much as clicking the most interesting web page link in front of us.
I know of what I speak, for I too seem to at times become one of the emerging prefrontal lobe brain dead. I can sit down at the computer and encounter lines of email "famspam" (my term for the unending funny pictures, interesting Youtube videos, patriotic Powerpoints, and so on, sent by well meaning family members and friends). Once I have sat in front of the computer, my clicking on links sometimes leads me to forget what I originally intended to do at the computer.
This is a passive approach to the world and to information, and, I am afraid it is leading to a passive approach to life in general. We do not do the hard thing. We seek the easy or the most interesting thing to do with the click of a button. Check our email. Check Twitter. Respond to email. Respond to Twitter. Watch TV, surf the channels.
It is the adult version of what happens when children play video games. We become passive responders. We are responding, but without clear intent, planning, or moral effort. (There is effort in playing a video game, but only of a type.)
Human life needs to be more than passive responding, whether it is to a video game or to Twitter. But it is not just a matter of whether we will seek to do the hard thing. It is also a matter of whether we will be able to do it. Will our prefrontal lobes be there for us and have the necessary complexity and ability to do what does not come easily?
I believe that the proper functioning of the frontal lobes depends on the building up of the neural substrate, that branching of nerve endings which is so marvelously complex in our brains. And I believe that the branching of the nerve cells ("dendrite arbors") can only occur when we use our prefrontal lobes.
Why are we in this position? Were our forebears morally superior "Giant Brains" and we are only "Tiny Brains?" (I am alluding here to the movie "Defending Your Life." If you haven't seen it yet, put it on your list to see.) I don't think that our forebears had better brains. They made many stupid mistakes, of which racial prejudice was just one. But we have so many interesting things to look at. We do not need to invent anything of interest because 10 things of interest have already been shoved at us in one way or another, constantly vying for our attention.
What happens when we don't exercise our frontal lobes? When writing a term paper becomes a simple exercise in cutting and pasting on the computer? My speculation is that we are not developing our frontal lobes and that as a result we will lose some of our self-directedness. We may also lose some our ability to do the hard things in life.
The most important "hard thing" is to set our own goals and then to pursue them. It is so much easier to fall in line behind people who will show us what to do, tempt us with something to do, and so on.
Time, as an empty, cavernous structure yawning before us does not comfort us. It seems to create anxiety in many. Visit a casino with the banks of slot machines. These slot machines can help us to "pass the time," "kill time," and "fill" our time. (I am not being a prude here; I like a little slot machine action once in a great while.) Killing time may also be a way of letting our frontal lobes atrophy.
What the world needs are people who can do that most difficult of all things, set meaningful goals, plan to complete those goals, and then make meaningful efforts to reach them.
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Down with Laziness
It is not uncommon in my counseling sessions for people to blame themselves or others for being "lazy." I have a major problem with that, because frankly, I don't know what it means. Nothing in my years of training or continuing education has ever prepared me to understand laziness. I understand something about depression, which can rob people of their motivation. I understand something about ADD, which can make people tend to wander around in life or in their everyday activities. I understand something about frontal lobe brain damage, which can rob people of motivation. I also have some general understanding of passive aggressive behavior, which in my experience is usually a reaction to punitive parenting in childhood. But I'm just not sure what laziness it.
I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. But it's one of those words and concepts that is really good for beating ourselves up without having a clear meaning. That makes it rather dangerous. We can call ourselves lazy and feel inadequate and depressed. We can call others lazy and feel angry at them. So we had better know what we mean by it. It's a powerful word.
"Lazy" is a moral judgement. We apparently are saying something more than "I feel unmotivated," or "he is relatively unmotivated."
There's another problem with the word. Lack of motivation is a relative thing. Even persons that we might be tempted to think of as lazy are often in fact motivated to do some things, maybe even things we ourselves wouldn't do.
In almost every situation that I encounter where a patient calls themselves lazy, they are in fact, either depressed, ADD, or experiencing a psychological reaction against a very dominant person (parent or spouse). The word lazy obscures rather than clarifies, creates obstacles rather than solutions. We have to know what the real problem is before we can fix it. So whenever one of my clients uses that word, you can be sure I point it out to them.
Usually, the client is depressed, and calling themselves lazy only compounds their depression. It is not usually accurate for a client to call themselves lazy because that (if it exists) is a character issue, a lifelong quality rather than being part of a temporary episode of depression.
It may be possible that people are born with a lethargic temperament for some reason, and may naturally not be very motivated. If so, that would not be a moral issue; it would be a psychological or biological issue.
So down with the word "lazy." When we encounter problems with lack of motivation, we need to figure out what is really going on and address the real issue.
I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. But it's one of those words and concepts that is really good for beating ourselves up without having a clear meaning. That makes it rather dangerous. We can call ourselves lazy and feel inadequate and depressed. We can call others lazy and feel angry at them. So we had better know what we mean by it. It's a powerful word.
"Lazy" is a moral judgement. We apparently are saying something more than "I feel unmotivated," or "he is relatively unmotivated."
There's another problem with the word. Lack of motivation is a relative thing. Even persons that we might be tempted to think of as lazy are often in fact motivated to do some things, maybe even things we ourselves wouldn't do.
In almost every situation that I encounter where a patient calls themselves lazy, they are in fact, either depressed, ADD, or experiencing a psychological reaction against a very dominant person (parent or spouse). The word lazy obscures rather than clarifies, creates obstacles rather than solutions. We have to know what the real problem is before we can fix it. So whenever one of my clients uses that word, you can be sure I point it out to them.
Usually, the client is depressed, and calling themselves lazy only compounds their depression. It is not usually accurate for a client to call themselves lazy because that (if it exists) is a character issue, a lifelong quality rather than being part of a temporary episode of depression.
It may be possible that people are born with a lethargic temperament for some reason, and may naturally not be very motivated. If so, that would not be a moral issue; it would be a psychological or biological issue.
So down with the word "lazy." When we encounter problems with lack of motivation, we need to figure out what is really going on and address the real issue.
Friday, April 28, 2006
The Dead End of Perfectionism
Many of the people consulting with psychologists have a problem with perfectionism. Some of them understand the problem and burden imposed by their own perfectionism. They are tired to having to do everything just right; they are worn out. Or they are depressed and they realize where the depression is coming from.
For others, doing things perfectly is a lifelong value, even a cherished value. They do not realize the full downside to the perfectionistic way of doing things. They may be depressed or anxious, and they may want to feel better, but they may want to feel better without giving up their quest for perfection.
There are multiple problems with perfectionism. These are discussed more fully in the chapter available on my website under "handouts."
Here are a few of the problems with perfection as a goal
Being perfect is ambiguous. As we have seen, it is relatively straightforward for a person to know what being perfect is in the sixth grade. But what does it mean at age 65 when we are retired? Does it mean keeping our lawn trimmed everyday and keeping the weeds out? Does it mean that we are volunteering? Does it mean that we are obeying all the rules? Or does it mean that we are learning which rules to break (as for example during the civil rights disobedience of the sixties). Does it mean that our house looks perfect to visitors or that we are being creative with our time? Does it mean that we keep outward appearances just right so that others will approve of us, or that we will use our time wisely so that we will approve of ourselves?
There are large issues in life, and these can rarely if ever be accomplished perfectly. Perfection is something we can accomplish when we vacuum the house. It is not likely to be accomplished in poetry, painting, volunteering, or even just helping out a friend. It is unlikely that we can write the perfect poem or be the perfect volunteer. The temptation for the perfectionist can be to do the smaller things which can be done more or less perfectly.
Perfectionism can alienate the people around us. When they do not live up to our perfectionistic standards, we may be magnanimous and forgiving--or we may be critical. And even when we attempt to be forgiving and "overlook" any mistake, our impatience with their lack of perfection may show through. This can put people off.
Perfectionism can lead to procrastination. We know that once we take on a project, we will have to do it pefectly. This can make it a daunting task, and we may find it easier to keep putting it off rather than doing it "just right."
Finally, studies have shown that perfectionism tends to lead to depression in many people. When the perfectionist falls short of their perfect goal, they may berate themselves, causing low self esteem and this may in turn lead to depression.
As an alternative to perfection, we can aim at doing things well. We can realize that it is better to be fully engaged in life and trying a lot of things rather than just doing a narrow range of activities where we can be assured of the outcome. There are times to be perfectionistic. Pilots are taught to be extremely thorough in checking over their airplane before taking off, for example. And if I ever have brain surgery, I would prefer my surgeon to be a perfectionist. However, in everyday life, perfectionism tends to detract from our productivity and feelings of well being.
For others, doing things perfectly is a lifelong value, even a cherished value. They do not realize the full downside to the perfectionistic way of doing things. They may be depressed or anxious, and they may want to feel better, but they may want to feel better without giving up their quest for perfection.
There are multiple problems with perfectionism. These are discussed more fully in the chapter available on my website under "handouts."
Here are a few of the problems with perfection as a goal
- It leads to depression in some people
- It can alienate other people from us
- It leads to procrastination in some people
- It is ambiguous, that is it has unclear and confusing goals
- It can lead to focusing on minor details rather than the larger issues of life
- It is impossible to be perfect
Being perfect is ambiguous. As we have seen, it is relatively straightforward for a person to know what being perfect is in the sixth grade. But what does it mean at age 65 when we are retired? Does it mean keeping our lawn trimmed everyday and keeping the weeds out? Does it mean that we are volunteering? Does it mean that we are obeying all the rules? Or does it mean that we are learning which rules to break (as for example during the civil rights disobedience of the sixties). Does it mean that our house looks perfect to visitors or that we are being creative with our time? Does it mean that we keep outward appearances just right so that others will approve of us, or that we will use our time wisely so that we will approve of ourselves?
There are large issues in life, and these can rarely if ever be accomplished perfectly. Perfection is something we can accomplish when we vacuum the house. It is not likely to be accomplished in poetry, painting, volunteering, or even just helping out a friend. It is unlikely that we can write the perfect poem or be the perfect volunteer. The temptation for the perfectionist can be to do the smaller things which can be done more or less perfectly.
Perfectionism can alienate the people around us. When they do not live up to our perfectionistic standards, we may be magnanimous and forgiving--or we may be critical. And even when we attempt to be forgiving and "overlook" any mistake, our impatience with their lack of perfection may show through. This can put people off.
Perfectionism can lead to procrastination. We know that once we take on a project, we will have to do it pefectly. This can make it a daunting task, and we may find it easier to keep putting it off rather than doing it "just right."
Finally, studies have shown that perfectionism tends to lead to depression in many people. When the perfectionist falls short of their perfect goal, they may berate themselves, causing low self esteem and this may in turn lead to depression.
As an alternative to perfection, we can aim at doing things well. We can realize that it is better to be fully engaged in life and trying a lot of things rather than just doing a narrow range of activities where we can be assured of the outcome. There are times to be perfectionistic. Pilots are taught to be extremely thorough in checking over their airplane before taking off, for example. And if I ever have brain surgery, I would prefer my surgeon to be a perfectionist. However, in everyday life, perfectionism tends to detract from our productivity and feelings of well being.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Don't Blame the Victim
Psychological research has documented that there is an unfortunate tendency in people to blame victims. Part of the reason for this appears to be the need to reassure ourselves that bad things are not going to happen to us. When we see someone who suffers misfortune, we may feel anxiety and want to believe that it could not happen to us. Or we may feel a twinge of guilt that our lives are so good. For example if we hear of someone being robbed or attacked at night, we might think that they shouldn't have been out at night by themselves--they should have known better.
Some of my patients experience the same type of blaming. Depressed persons often report to me that their families do not understand their depression and tell them to snap out of it. People imply that they could be well if they wanted to be, that they simply want to be sick. Or there may be the implication that the person is morally weak and bad for not choosing to be well. This is also blaming the victim.
There may be some people out there who want to use their psychiatric symptoms for some reason (disability, etc.). I rarely encounter them. In my practice, I find people want to get well. If they could get better on their own, they would. One of the ways they work on getting better is by coming to see me. It does no good to tell them to snap out of it. It does no good to blame them and imply they are weak. Even worse is when people imply that their depression or anxiety is because they are out of right relationship with God.
There are ways of encouraging a depressed person to get better, but blaming them is not one of those ways. In my next piece, I will talk about some positive ways of encouraging persons who are suffering through psychological symptoms.
Some of my patients experience the same type of blaming. Depressed persons often report to me that their families do not understand their depression and tell them to snap out of it. People imply that they could be well if they wanted to be, that they simply want to be sick. Or there may be the implication that the person is morally weak and bad for not choosing to be well. This is also blaming the victim.
There may be some people out there who want to use their psychiatric symptoms for some reason (disability, etc.). I rarely encounter them. In my practice, I find people want to get well. If they could get better on their own, they would. One of the ways they work on getting better is by coming to see me. It does no good to tell them to snap out of it. It does no good to blame them and imply they are weak. Even worse is when people imply that their depression or anxiety is because they are out of right relationship with God.
There are ways of encouraging a depressed person to get better, but blaming them is not one of those ways. In my next piece, I will talk about some positive ways of encouraging persons who are suffering through psychological symptoms.
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