Psychological research has documented that there is an unfortunate tendency in people to blame victims. Part of the reason for this appears to be the need to reassure ourselves that bad things are not going to happen to us. When we see someone who suffers misfortune, we may feel anxiety and want to believe that it could not happen to us. Or we may feel a twinge of guilt that our lives are so good. For example if we hear of someone being robbed or attacked at night, we might think that they shouldn't have been out at night by themselves--they should have known better.
Some of my patients experience the same type of blaming. Depressed persons often report to me that their families do not understand their depression and tell them to snap out of it. People imply that they could be well if they wanted to be, that they simply want to be sick. Or there may be the implication that the person is morally weak and bad for not choosing to be well. This is also blaming the victim.
There may be some people out there who want to use their psychiatric symptoms for some reason (disability, etc.). I rarely encounter them. In my practice, I find people want to get well. If they could get better on their own, they would. One of the ways they work on getting better is by coming to see me. It does no good to tell them to snap out of it. It does no good to blame them and imply they are weak. Even worse is when people imply that their depression or anxiety is because they are out of right relationship with God.
There are ways of encouraging a depressed person to get better, but blaming them is not one of those ways. In my next piece, I will talk about some positive ways of encouraging persons who are suffering through psychological symptoms.
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