Language as a Two Edged Sword

A news article came out the other day about research indicating that dogs are able to remember what happened the day before.  This made me reflect once again regarding the value of language and the problems that come with it.  I would guess that lack of language is one contributing factor to dogs not being able to remember recent events.  Words and phrases such as "family get together," "football," "Saturday," and so on, aid our memory.  Dogs don't have those words.  In addition to helping our memory, words make us more capable of conceptualizing problems and solving them.

It just may be that dogs may be a little happier than humans, or put another way, that they may be less miserable. If their basic needs are met, they probably are content. Human beings can worry about tomorrow, remember the past, and berate themselves interminably.  And much of those thoughts involve words.

Words are a two edged sword.  It would be much harder to be neurotic without words.  Many of the negative events and effects of childhood are stored in words.  Negative messages from our parents, e.g., "You can't sing,"  "You'll never amount to anything," and so on, take abuse to a whole new level.  Physical and sexual abuse certainly harm a lot of people, but words add an entirely new layer of negativity.  We can rehearse and remember those negative statements over and over, until our own demise.  Moreover, our own negative thoughts about our abuse, e.g, "I must have deserved it," "I caused it," and so on, make it even worse.

Much of the therapy I do with clients is aimed at helping them to rid themselves of irrational negative thoughts.  I have written about that many times in this blog and elsewhere.

Sometimes the negative thoughts come so fast and furious in therapy, that it is hard to keep up with them.  Consider the following dialog:

     Patient:  So I screwed up once again--just like my parents said.

     Therapist:  That would seem to be the same type of negative thought we discussed just a few minutes ago.

     Patient: Oh, you're right.  I'm so stupid.  I can't do anything right.

In this example, even before the therapist is able to assist the patient with dealing with one negative thought, two more have been added.

That is one reason why cognitive therapy for depression can take 10-20 sessions.  Eventually, however, most persons can get a handle on their negative thinking and make progress with their thoughts.

I could say a lot more about this, but I will make this short and leave you with the moral of this story:  Use language wisely.  Use it to describe thoughts, events, and behaviors accurately.  Use it to conceptualize problems and conceptualize solutions.  But remember that thoughts can sometimes be produced by the brain which are very unhelpful.  In that situation, they neither lead to better conceptualization of problems, nor better solutions.  Sometimes rampant, unbridled words and thoughts in our heads are the problem.