In my last blog, I wrote about following up cognitive therapy coping with mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness is actually a collection of concepts centered around one or two major ideas.
I have come to see that mindfulness concepts are the opposite side of the coin from cognitive therapy. In cognitive therapy, the point is to clear away negative concepts. In mindfulness, there is an emphasis on the positive. However, they are just flip sides of the same coin.
Concept #1. Living in the present. Many of the people whom I work with are spending much of their mental energy living in the past or the future, and not in a positive way. By living in the present, we are usually focusing on positive experiences, not negative ones. Many of the negative thoughts we have are imagined, or even irrational. This is something I have written about a lot.
There are some exceptions to this, and perhaps by exploring the exceptions I can clarify the importance of the being in the present.
My rule for myself is to spend most of my time right now, here in the current time. But one exception I would make for myself would be to allow 1% of my time, or less, for worst case scenario thinking. Why? Well, if I am making a preflight inspection of the airplane which I rent, and there is a screw missing, it is really useful to imagine the worst that can happen. If I decide that it is not a problem, then I fly. However, if I can imagine any worst case scenario that would lead to a crash, then I check with a mechanic, or I don't fly. If I am investing money, I think of the worst case scenario as well as what gains could come of it. Perhaps, it would be good for people to imagine some worst case scenarios before going to Las Vegas.
However, it is usually a mistake to spend more than 1% of our lives thinking about the worst case scenario because (a) it usually doesn't come true, and (b) it can start us into an anxiety spiral. By spiral, I mean a self-perpetuating cycle of negative thinking, leading to anxiety, which leads to more negative thinking, which leads to more anxiety, etc. I am referring here to the the "anxiety spasm."
Usually, the present is a fairly good place to be. Usually, we are in a relatively comfortable environment. Usually,we are not too hungry. Usually, there is no danger or threat to us. By living in the present we are not subjecting ourselves to the bad feelings associated with past mistakes or with potential future catastrophes.
Another exception to thinking about the future is that there is a part of the future which I would label the "creative future." This is thinking about the positive things we can do. It involves a positive, creative aspect of our mental functioning. While I suppose in excess it could lead to too much fantasy thinking, it is an important part of our lives to think about all of the wonderful things we could accomplish and created but which have not yet been done.
What about thinking about the past? I would apply somewhat of the same rule. There is some value in thinking over the past. Could I have done something better? Did I perhaps hurt someone's feelings unintentionally? What can I learn from it? But I would again probably apply the one percent rule here. There is probably not much more "juice" that can be squeezed out of the past beyond 1% of our time. I like to squeeze lemons into my water for an easy lemonade at a meal. There is definitely only so much you can squeeze out of a slice of lemon. After that you are wasting your time. There is only so much usable "juice" one can get from mulling over the past.
So that leaves us in the present. When I am working with a client on mindfulness techniques, I ask them to focus on the surroundings in my office. Is the chair comfortable? Is the temperature in the room comfortable? Do they feel hungry or satisfied? (They usually feel satisfied.) The point is that in that place, at that time, in that situation, there is nothing to be upset about. The only thing to be upset about is something outside of that room and place, which is something either in their past or in their future. But this doesn't only apply to the psychologist's office, it is often true at home, too. One statement which can be useful is the following, "At this time, in this place, there is nothing for me to worry about."
One image I have come up with is a thin strand of island about a hundred feet wide, in the middle of the ocean. On that thin island is a hammock, coconut trees, sweet drinks, adequate shade, and so on. On either side of the island, about a hundred feet into the water is a whirlpool (think anxiety spiral). On the left side, is the whirlpool spiral of the past, which can suck a person down and cause them to drown. This is the "shoulds" and reverse fortune telling about the past which lead to depression. Thoughts in that whirlpool focus on the past and begin with "If only I had," or "I should have..."
On the right side is the whirlpool spiral of fortune telling and catastrophizing about the future, which can also cause a person to drown. This is worst case scenario thinking which is triggering anxiety, which in turn triggers more negative thinking, and so on. Thoughts in this whirlpool usually begin with "What if...?"
But in the middle of the two, on the island, if we choose to lay in the hammock, and enjoy the shade, we can enjoy the "good life" of the present.
Now, I suspect that some readers would say, "If we only live in the present and enjoy it, we don't really accomplish anything." There is some truth to that. A little anxiety can motivate us. Creative thinking about the future can produce some excitement and tension about wanting to reach that future. However, if we live too much in the future, then even when we get there, we don't enjoy it. Thinking about "When I have children...", "When I get a job...", or "When I retire..." can all be legitimate events to look forward to. But if we can't enjoy the present NOW, we may not be able to enjoy the present THEN.
The island strand is only a metaphor. I am not trying to imply that we need to take it easy all of the time. Not at all. If the metaphor bothers you, think about there being a scientific laboratory just up the island a little ways, or an arts and crafts room, or a work out room. The point is that living in the strand of the present rather than the past or present usually makes us most productive.
Because one of my hobbies is oil painting, I have a technique which works for me that helps me to really appreciate the present. I look around me, no matter where I am, and imagine how it could be made into an oil painting by a really excellent artist. I have seen intriguing and/or attractive paintings of every type of scene imaginable, including broken down buildings and rusty signs. By imagining the painting that could be produced from the scene I am looking at, I am able to enjoy my surroundings even more. It helps me to not only be in the present, but also to enjoy the present.
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